College Football Playoff On New Year’s Eve? Will It Work?

    Will it matter that the College Football Playoff will be on New Year's Eve?

    December 27, 2015


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    Sorry if this blurb sucks, it’s not my fault …

    My New Year’s Eve date will be a room service club sandwich – with extra mayo, because I’ll want to live it up for the special occasion.

    ”Aah, but in case I stand one little chance/
    Here comes the jackpot question in advance/
    What are you doing New Year’s/
    New Year’s Eve?”

    Since FOX News has made gobs of money making stupid people believe there’s a War On Christmas, I’m ripping off the idea by declaring there’s now a War On New Year’s Eve.

    By steadfastly holding on to the idea of making the College Football Playoff a New Year’s Eve tradition, the good people of the CFP world are firing the first shot at sports fans who’d love nothing more than to make two of the three biggest games of the college football season appointment viewing. They’re also, apparently, out to screw up everyone’s chance at getting their groove on.

    Men and women need prefabricated excuses to smooch, and now the CFP is trying to take that away from you.

    At least that’s the easy narrative.

    Because the world doesn’t have enough to whine about – the “too many bowls” rant has run its course – now the complaining is kicking into overdrive about the CFP semifinals being played on New Year’s Eve instead of New Year’s Day, or better yet, Saturday, January 2nd, when the College Football Playoff could’ve had the entire world’s attention all to itself with all the NFL Week 17 games being played on Sunday.

    It would’ve been the perfect scenario to take over a three-day college football blowout with the Chick-fil-A and Fiesta on the 31st, the Rose and Sugar on the 1st, and then the two playoff games on the 2nd – with all the other interesting bowls sprinkled into the mix. The ratings would’ve been astronomical for all the New Year’s Six bowl games.

    But instead, the idea is to make New Year’s Eve associated with the College Football Playoff, sort of like Thanksgiving is about the NFL, Christmas is about the NBA – by the way, please, NFL, feel free to take over December 25th, too – and Flag Day has become synonymous with the WNBA. (Like you have any clue whether or not that last part is correct.)

    The whole CFP/New Year’s Eve thing might not make sense, and ESPN might not like it, and sports fans might grumble, and bloggers might click-bait their way to an easy article, and sports talk guys might have something to spend a few minutes yapping about, but here’s the thing …

    It’s going to work.

    ESPN has a point, though. The ratings are going to slip because the casual sports fan won’t be sitting around hung over like they would be on January 1st, but everyone’s still going to watch because they have no other choice.

    You can always find someone else to make out with. If the person you’re with doesn’t get that you HAVE to watch these two awesome games, your life-choice answer has been made for you.

    The Orange isn’t an issue. The thing starts at 4 ET and ends at 8 – no matter where you are, you’re not going to a New Year’s Eve party that early. For half the country, the Cotton is either no problem, with a 5 pm start time in LA, or it’ll be a mid-level inconvenience starting at 7 in Chicago. For everyone else, no way, no how will any New Year’s Eve party worth its tequila salt not have the games on, and if they aren’t, the people who care will be huddled around the one with the biggest smart phone screen.

    But your date will be ticked that you’re watching the games, right?

    Nope.

    You’re a professional. You know how this works. Your date wants to talk to other friends, not you. The New Year’s Eve date is nothing more than an insurance policy so neither side feels like a loser at midnight – no matter how you arrive at the destination, the outcome will be the same.

    You’ll watch the games just like every other sports fan, and if the Cotton sucks, your night starts a little earlier. If Alabama and Michigan State play a classic, it’ll end around 11:30 ET, you’ll dance for a bit because you have to, you’ll make out for 17 seconds like the plane is going down, and then, along with the thousands of other people who didn’t think this through, either, you’ll go outside in 14-degree weather and look for a cab while your date incessantly whines about how her “cute” shoes are killing her feet.

    And what about those who don’t have a date or anything better to do? Now all of us poor unfortunate souls – boo hoo, I’ll be “working” at the Orange Bowl – don’t have to watch some criminally unfunny/uncomfortable Kathy Griffin/Anderson Cooper banter. Now we’ll have something amazing to distract us from the “man, this sort of sucks” reality that the rest of world is getting some.

    It might be shoehorned into our sports lives, but the College Football Playoff will be just fine on December 31st, even if that goes against my War On New Year’s Eve propaganda machine.

    There will still be t-shirts and a book tour.

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